Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"Phenomenal", "She made me nervous" and "Dear American Friends"

Hidee Ho Readers,

An interesting week. Ally continues to adjust and we continue to be amazed. The title of the blog today are about three different things that happened this week. Two were just moments that you catalog and hold onto. they may just be small things or more profound but regardless they just catch you by surprise. So first is "Phenomenal". Jo and I and Ally were talking with Dave, Mary, Alex, and Jack on Skype. For those that don't know, Skype is an internet program that allows you to verbally chat as well as video chat from computer to computer. While in China we used it twice a day to be able to see and talk to everyone here in the U.S. Sorry, got sidetracked. Anyway, we were Skyping with them to give a huge thanks to Alex for the wonderful gift that Alex gave to Ally, and at some point in the conversation one of said "Phenomenal". I don't know what we were referring to, but Ally piped right up and repeated it quite clearly. It wasn't perfect, but it was really clear. It was just one of those unexpected surprise moments where everyone looks at each other with that "Did she just say that?" look on their face. Like I say, we just cataloged that one away as funny and unexpected.

The next one is one I remembered from the ski trip this past Sunday. I was riding up the lift with Zack and thought I'd ask him what he thought so far about Ally. i encouraged him to say any negatives he felt along with the positives. He very quickly said there really weren't any negatives, except.....Uh oh I thought. But to my surprise he says, and I'm paraphrasing, the only down side was that the other night he couldn't find her in the house right away and looked all over for her. "I was really worried for a minute, she made me nervous" :) :) :) I had goggles on so he didn't notice my eyes get watery.....I said "Welcome to parenthood" and then explained to him that that feeling times 100 is what it's like to have kids and why we get so worried and nervous and mad sometimes. I think the light started to come in in his head. It was a great moment and one that illustrates just how much she means to him already. They all have moments like that, but as you know Zack is approaching the teens and I expect those moments will be soon kept inside. I hope not, but I remember how uncool it was to show feelings like that when I was a teen.

Lastly but certainly not least, was a letter we had translated today. I think I mentioned at one point that China does not allow contact with the foster family. I don't know all the reasons why but they are pretty strict about it. So that has led some foster families to get creative about things. Such was the case with Ally's foster family. By the way, she had a mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and 10 year old brother in her foster family. She lost a lot, and so did they. Well, on gotcha day when we undressed her many, many layers Jo noticed a sewn in pocket area in one set of pants. Sure enough, the family had sewn in a secret note to us. It was in Chinese so we were unable to read it and we were very reluctant to share it with our guides not knowing how they would react. So until we could get it home and scanned, we just held onto it. Well, the other night we scanned it and sent it to our China Coordinator at our agency. she is unbelievable by the way. There is no one, NO ONE, better at this job than her. If you are looking into adoption from China, look no further than Bay Area Adoption Services. Sorry, sidetracked again. So our coordinator translated it for us and sent it back today. To quote her "Their letter made me cry. it is so obvious Xi Xi received so much love from them." The letter said this -

Dear American Friends who adopted Xi Xi:

How are you?

We are the grandfather and grandmother who fostered Xi Xi. We have established deep love and attachment to Xi Xi because we started taking care of her since she was only six months old and we have lived together for almost three years. Now the child is leaving us and we are feeling a great loss. However, we are so grateful that you are able to adopt her and raise her until she is an adult. We thank you so very much.

Your living habits and culture must be very different from ours. Please help the child to adapt to the new environment gradually. After the child joins your family, we would very much like to receive letters or telephone calls. We would very much want to see her pictures. You can use the internet to keep in touch with us so we can see the child often.


The rest was just the contact info. We already firmly believed that the primary reason that Ally has adjusted and bonded so well was due to the work that the foster family had done prior to us coming not to mention the care she was getting. This letter was total confirmation of that and an amazing profession of love. We will certainly keep in contact with them.
So that's it for now,
Jim

2 comments:

Our family's life journey said...

That is amazing about the foster family! What a blessing! It's so good to hear that she is doing so well.

April Tranby

Amy said...

That letter is awesome! I have not heard of that, is it common? You and your family are truly blessed and Ally is a beautiful girl!

Amy Prame